empty hand

i have so much knowledge so much information so many ideas, that they are coming out my ears.

but the words to express them are jumbled in my mouth like tangled barbed wire. and childhood traumas continue to cause them to come out at all sharp and jagged and bitingly painful and leave me sounding/feeling inarticulate, unintelligible and unintelligent.

what is the use of knowledge if if it is locked in a cage and despite years of looking i can't find the key

but i can't stop trying i can only stand here mute terrified and empty handed.

please except my open empty hand