FREEDOM

recently i received an anonymous grant for a mobility scooter, here's my response.


dear grant givers


i can not begin to express the magnitude of change having a scooter has brought to my life.

i would compare it to when i learned to ride a bike at 12 or drive a car when i was 26,

the freedom to go almost anywhere almost any time.

from the simple things like going to the drug store or grocery store to the ability to participate in political and cultural events.

the ability to cruse around the neighborhood on a warm evening and smell the roses and and enjoy the beauty of peoples gardens.

to feel he fresh air on my face ,the breeze in my hair.

to be able to go to several concerts of the early music festival this week and the world music festival on telagraph ave. next saterday

in addition to my work on the board of abc i'm looking forward to finding a place to be more active locally outside of the work i do with my neighbors to improve conditions in our apartment building.

i'm also looking forward , if my health permits to go to the open space conference in s,f. in july and if i can get donated air miles, the national coalition on dialogue and deliberation in austin in oct.


with much thanks and appreciation

remembering the spirit of judi bari

last week a occasion to go past downtown oakland to the far end of lake merritt,a place where i always get lost. so coming home i opt for the easy way out ,driving straight up broadway ,something i rarely do,and whenever i do i am always shocked when i come to the intersection where judi and darryl were bombed.

no one was ever charged with this crime.

judy was a labor organizer before she was a forest activist and became a target for her work being able to connect with loggers and mill workers.

they didn't manage to kill her than altho it wasn't the first time they tried. she died 7 years later of breast cancer that the fbi claimed she was faking.

being an activist can be dangerous . i know from my early experience .

her passing in 1997 left a gape that grows. her memory inspires me to keep on trying to learn the skills it takes to build bridges

altho i sometimes give up and despair of ever learning to be truly affective, hope eventually reasserts its self.

holiday feast

general food bank dec. 19

2lb.beans

2lb.white rice

1 can corn

1 can tomato sauce

1 can apple sauce

1 can of pringles


senior food bank dec 21

4 lb. pinto beans

2lb. white rice

i loaf breab

1 can corn

1 can apple sauce

4 onions

4 pears (yeah!)

1 cabbage

dec. is the cruelest month for regular food bank users the majority of food goes to the showcase distributions, the ones you see on tv and for which you usually need an invitation or the ability to stand in line for hours.

i have know idea what qualifies one to be invited clearly being a senior on disability is not enough.

oh yea, and 2 cans of mystery meat.

winter soltice

walking into the dark

dancing in the dark

trancing in the dark

hoping i'll be in the light when morning comes

in memory

Aidan Paul WilliamsCraig

Sept.23 2005 Dec. 12 2006


now i lay you down to sleep

and you die before you wake

Cerridwen your soul did take

into the cauldron of rebirth

we will never know

WHY???????????



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE HAG PRAYER

Goddess of death,
You are a mystery
And I do not understand you.
You give great gifts
And snatch them away.
You are cruel joker
With a warped sense of humor
And I hate you.
You give life to those
Who don't deserve it and take it from those
Who do.
You may no sense, Goddess;
You are not logical,
Or if you are, it's a logic we cannot follow.
You are not fair.

Hag, hag,
Ugly old hag,
You clam that if we embrace you
You will turn beautiful,
But getting close to you
Is like embracing sharp knives --
And I don't believe you,
I don't believe you.

Something has happened here
That is wrong, wrong, wrong,
And there is no way
To pretty it up
And make it be okay.

Mother of lies
Mother of false promises
Mother of tremors and pain
and the loss of vision as we age
Mother of confusion and memory loss
Mother of stink and decay
Mother of vermin
Mother of viruses
Mother of parasites that eat
the living bodies of their hosts

You are the Goddess of the bloody face
Who eats her own child
In the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHEN THE HEART

When the heart
is cut or cracked or broken
Do not clutch it
Let the wound lie open

Let the wind
from the good old sea blow in
to bathe the wound with salt
and let it sting

Let a stray dog lick it
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing
a simple song like a tiny bell
and let it ring

--Michael Leunig

unthanksgiving

i'm sitting here looking out my window at alcatraz..........


on monday morning i started writing what i thought would be a long piece about the native american liberation of alcatraz in the early 70's.

than a friend called and asked if i could take him to the hospital,where it transpired he had a ruptured appendix, so my energy has willingly gone to being with him and not to writing.

but i didn't want the day to go entirely unmarked.

hopefully next year i will write about alcatraz.

preparing for samhain

samhain in celtic culture is the beginning of winter and the new year and the new year begins with death.the plants are dying the leaves are falling,things go underground into the dark to await the suns slow return after winter solitce


thursday i stated buying alter food,something i usually do in the beginning of the month buying things like dried beans corn meal oatmeal black eyed peas. food that my relatives,friends and the people whose land we live on liked.


but it was hard to get started this year.i have 'lost' more than a few friends and altho some were relatively young they were all adults.

but this year there is aidan. i have had an alter for him since dec.13

but it has been for him alone filed with his favorite toys and juice and cookies

now comes the time when he must share it with my other beloved dead thou if truth be told none was nearly so beloved

over the year his alter has morphed and changed and now will under go a major change where it will not stand alone

or be so large after samhain every one else will go away till next year and aidan's space will be smaller and less central and even saying that makes me cry but i must let him go, let our ties stretch as thin as he needs them to be just as it would be if he were alive and growing more independent . he has his own life to live wherever that is.

and i must find a way to move (on?)

as usual my samhain alter will slowly morph into my winter soltice alter

in between now and then lies dec 12, how will i get from here to the returning light?

i realize how much i haven't said. maybe i'll say more later maybe not.